Based on the actual case files from the joke that is my dating life. No names have been changed, because no one was innocent. This is just a place for me to vent about my own social awkwardness and the funny, quirky, boring, and bat-shit crazy people who agree to go out on a date with me.
I should probably preface this by stating that I'm a bisexual guy who tends to be attracted to artsy, bookish types and those who walk to their own beat. I'm relatively vanilla when it comes to my own sexual tastes and turn-ons, but I'm also pretty open-minded and tolerant of others' fetishes. And I think people pick up on that fairly quickly, so they don't hesitate to let their freak flags fly. That said, there's also that moment of sheer panic/amazement when the guy you're having a fun date with suddenly asks you to kick him in the balls...'cause that's what he's into. Or the girl who wants to call up her ex-boyfriend for a threesome with you. But we'll get into all of that later.
Also, the name Cliff Beefpile is in reference to a riff from the '12 To The Moon' episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and my profile name on an online dating site.